Thursday, August 11, 2016

Granny says no nudity in the White House

Former First Lady, Manie Eisenhower
"Granny, I'm so beautiful.  Donald just loves me looking good, and he knows I was a nude model and on the covers of magazines.  If he becomes President, he told me the First Lady of Cloutierville once posed nude in Louisiana, so it should be okay with everyone if I once did it too." And I told Melania that Granny, Mamie and Bess would never have been nude models.


Well, that Melania Trump was a model and posed without clothes on.  And her website is down where she had said she had graduated from college with a degree in architecture; and it wasn't the truth.  And now she says that Cloutierville's First Lady once posed in the nude. Well I never did that and neither did my old friends, Mamie or Bess, who were First Ladies of the United States like Melania wants to be.

Granny is First Lady here in Cloutierville and always was the first.  Now I admits my figure is good, and everyone knows I dress up pretty 'cause a former pecan picker like me and a Granny who travels the world ought to always look good.  But the only time that I was nude was the day that I was born 'cause I is a proper lady, and everyone knows a lady knows when to leave; and I would never go anywhere without wearing my clothes.  Even my Mama wrapped that nappy around my little bottom when anyone was around and didn't even look down to put in those pins to hold my diaper together.

And Mamie Eisenhower, Ike's wife, well she was down right beautiful.  But no one ever said she posed nude nor did Harry Truman's wife, Bess.  Them women kept their britches on in the White House and their skirts way down over their knees.  So anyone who seen their britches would have to be down on the floor.  And Ike and Truman would have mopped that floor with anyone who'd try.

So this is what I said to Melania: "Now what you done before posin' nude, Melania, that ain't no business of mine nor anybody else, but Nancy Reagan and Michelle Obama have been really pretty First Ladies, and Nancy was a movie star like her Ronnie was.  I remember watchin' them walk around the White House and talk bout many things, like history and health.  I can't help thinkin' you might just have trouble doin' that cause folks watchin' you might be thinkin' bout something other than your words."

Sure  enough some women's got pretty behinds and tops and like to run around naked, but us First Ladies don't need to show everything we got, when folks like me and Bess and Mamie got more in our noggins people admire, and that's where it really counts.

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