Friday, July 29, 2016

Cats are taking over and politicians have to take their crap outside

Out for a spin in Cloutierville
So I was down to Mabel's house the other afternoon, and she was trying to teach her cat to go to the bathroom.  She's been doin' it for weeks, and I had to talk to her bout that, cause everyone knows about toilets, cats and training, if they've ever had a cat.  That's why they is takin' over, and those politicians have to take their crap outdoors.

Now my cat, Jack, it didn't take me long to find out just who was teachin' who.  And now I got it straight, and I'm passin' it along.  It didn't take him long to train this old lady here.  In fact it only took five minutes for me to learn who's boss.

That first day I got him all that food,  Jack just sat right there on the kitchen floor, took one look and walked in the other direction.  After that I tried every day somethin' new for him to eat, until finally he ate somethin'.  Then it would start all over again.  Now he gets more kinds of food than Granny ever gets, including that gourmet kind.  When he howls, I go runnin' to see what Jack wants.  But I can call all day and Jack will just lie under that table ignorin' me like he's doin' this afternoon.

Every day I looks out and there are all the cats takin' over, includin' Mabel's who learned to ride a bike and now is trainin' others, cause cats is the ones who decides what they will learn or not. These cats come in all directions through the neighborhoods in Cloutierville as if they own the town.

And as for toilets, I sure did learn one Sunday mornin' when I thought I'd get some rest and forgot to clean Jack's litter.  I had just got some new toilet paper and put it on a roll, then went into the bathroom and the whole durn thing was empty and the paper on the floor with Jack's mess in the middle.

So now I open the door when Jack is scratchin' and he goes to the outhouse in the backyard where Granny sends them politicians who try to feed us crap and where Jack leaves enough mess for them to step in it up to their necks.

That's what Granny knows about toilets, cats and trainin', and there's nothin' Mabel is ever gonna do to change just who's in charge.

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