Sunday, March 10, 2013

Medical mistakes too many, Granny complains

She died in her chair yesterday morning.  She had been in the hospital a week, and they sent her home and said she'd be okay.  But she got sicker in the hospital, and I am sick and tired that my friend Mavis is gone, leaving those big bills and got nothing much for it.

The doctor said she had pneumonia.  They kept her in the hospital and said they gave her treatment, a bunch of pills, and some therapist that came in too.  But then Mavis she got this infection, and she told me the day before she died, how she complained.  Still everyone said she should go home, and when they found the infection she was already dead.

And the bill is big.  Bernie said he don't know how he is going to pay for it.  His children are still in school, and their house needs fixing.  They can't do that fixing cause they got all those bills.

Mavis is being buried here.
I read somewhere that the United States pays more for taking care of sick people than any other country in the world.  Still old people don't live as long as they do in  France or England or Canada.  And people keep getting infections too.  They says they make mistakes.  Too many of them, folks say.   And some people want to do away with the lawyers, but then that makes trouble too.  Cause when these medical people make mistakes, then who's gonna catch them?  One doctor says, these hospitals just manage disease, not helping teach people how to stay well.  And they got problems when they is not as clean, and they get crowded and people don't pay attention.

Some people are makin' poor people and old people to pay even more, so how are old folks to keep healthy when they don't get help and nobody's watching what happens.

I'm going down to that hospital tomorrow and have a good talking to them folks.  I think when they know Granny is coming, they might feel sorry, cause they is gonna be a lot sorrier if they don't tell the truth about what happened to Mavis and them other people who pay a lot of money and then die anyways.   Just hope I can get some help on this, cause being an old lady, I knows when it's my turn, I'm gonna need the whole family to be watching out for me.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Pope Benedict confers with Granny on his retirement

 "Oh Granny, you told me when I retired we could talk a little and that it was going to be fun.  I'm already getting caught up on my mail and phone calls, after I closed my Twitter account.  Thought I would check in with you first."  That Ben (I used to call him Pope Benedict, cause he got that big job, but now he's like the rest of my babies and part of this community, just like he used to be.  So he's calling to tell me how he's doing, cause we decided he'd wait until he left the Vatican so we could have a real nice chat.

That Ben, what a surprise he gave folks, by deciding to leave as Pope.  But he did tell me, of course, since he knows I would find out soon enough.  Besides all my children, no matter, know they can't get away with hiding things from Granny.   And that Ben, well he's a good feller; but that job is tough being Pope.  And yes, I called him Pope Benedict XVI like everyone else, cause Lord have mercy we all need to respect someone who does all that work.

"Are you saying your prayers, young man, like I taught you?"

Ben laughed a minute and said, "Of course, Granny.  That's what I said I would do, and I did it for a couple hours this morning. "

So I says to him, "Here's what you need to do, cause you gotta have some way of figuring out what to pray for first.  Just check in here first thing in the morning, before you even get dressed, so I can tell you where the trouble is, cause after all no one and nothing gets past these eyes and ears."

He thanked me, that Ben, God bless him.  Hope he listens, but I think he will.  After all, he knows where he got his learning about the Good Book at this very knee, where all the rest of my folks have been.  And you don't need to be Catholic, no sir.  There's place at this knee for everyone.

Glad to have Ben around again, as it wasn't easy getting through to him with all that fancy stuff and all.  Now he won't have no excuse for not knowing what's going on..  And time to pray for all those little children too that need to have those prayers.  And time to reflect on who didn't help them long ago before those babies got hurt.


Monday, March 4, 2013

Granny warns Punjab police about rape in India

"यह दादी है, और आप बेहतर जानते हैं कि मैं क्यों बुला रहा हूँ.नहीं, मैं पंजाबी नहीं बात बहुत अच्छा करते हैं, लेकिन यह काफी करीब है.तुम वहाँ मेरा उन सभी लड़कियों को आहत किया गया है, और मैं आप लोगों को नहीं ला किया है कि ऐसा हो.आप बेहतर जानते हैं.यहाँ Cloutierville में हमारे पुरुषों लड़कियों के बलात्कार नहीं करते हैं और वे उन्हें हरा नहीं है या तो.हमारे यहाँ नीचे लड़कों, अच्छी तरह से वे काफी सुंदर है और यह काफी अच्छा है कि वे किसी भी मुसीबत लड़कियों को उनके पालन करने के लिए हो रही है और उन्हें पसंद नहीं है.आपको लगता है कि सीखा है, और अब आप दादी से दूर, आपको लगता है कि मैं नहीं जानता कि तुम वहाँ क्या कर रहा है? "

Okay one of you fellers knows English.  Well maybe you don't know our Louisiana Southern style, but you'll get my point or the paddle, take your pick.  You hurt that child in India, the bunch of you police, beating her up cause these fellers were hollering at her and sayin' bad things.  Yes, you know what I mean.  And when her old Daddy tried to help her, you beat him up too.  Land a goshen, I taught you better how to treat your little sisters, and now that they all growed up, and you too, you forget all that.  No excuse you living far away and all, this Granny has eyes in the back of her head, and she'll catch what you been doing.  You betcha.

Then there was that time a bunch of fellers, three of them I know about, who gave this little girl some drugs and then did that bad thing to her..  Yes, you know what I mean that fellers do to girls and hurt them in their private parts.  

I been talking to you, but if you keep doing things to hurt my babies, I'm gonna tell the fellers in Louisiana to get over there, cause they knows how to treat women and they also knows what to do with fellows who don't!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Ketchup Ain't No Vegetable

Polly put the ketchup on her eggs in the morning, and then put a bunch on her potatoes too.

At lunch Granny saw her put ketchup on her hot dog and on her pork and beans.

At dinner, there was Polly putting ketchup on her rice and then asked for more for the chicken.

Granny said, "Child, why are you eating so much ketchup?"

Polly said, "Someone told me there was this President that said ketchup is a vegetable.  My teacher in my health class said we should eat five servings of vegetables every day.  So that's what I did.  I put ketchup on everything."

Polly is a poor child that lives up the street.  She has to get her lunch in the school cafeteria.    The school said those babies get all that good food to eat, including all them fresh vegetables.

A couple years ago some folks in Washington tried to fix all that, cause they was worried that these babies weren't getting their proper food.  But they never did fix that after all, and Polly says when they has pizza the tomato paste counts as a vegetable too.

Think Granny will have a set to with those folks in Washington, since this old lady knows the difference between a carrot and ketchup; even if those darn fool folks who run the government don't.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Granny teaches sales caller a lesson

Granny's phone
"Are you Granny?  Are you paying too much for insurance?  Do you want a rate plan that will fit your budget?"

Well, now it's dinner time on Sunday and someone calls and wonders if it's me here.  Who else would it be with this number I've had nigh on to 50 years.   Anybody knows Granny doesn't change her number no matter where she is.  So why would someone be asking?

"Do I know you?" I asks.  And the feller he says, "I'm from SAP Insurance Company, just trying to save you money today."

So I says, "Listen, what you doing calling me on a Sunday when I just getting ready for choir practice at the church?  If I need saving anywhere, I got good sense.  And what you doing calling me at dinner when you don't even know me?"

"You don't understand----" he starts again, but this time I got it figured out.  I just put the phone down and go have my dinner, then I wash the dishes and watch a little television.  After that I read some stories to my grandbabies, say my prayers, then pick up the phone; and you know that feller was gone.  I say calling someone you don't even know on a Sunday, trying to sell something when a body is busy, well no sense wasting my time.  Let the feller sit there and waste his.