"Granny, where you been?" Ben gets real worried when Granny is gone. He's my littlest grandbaby here in Cloutierville, with eyes so bright and filled with wonder about the world. Lord knows, we have to protect our babies, which is why Granny was gone awhile and taking care of business, cause children they don't understand why grown ups are so mean.
It's a long, long way from Cloutierville to Syria, but I had to go because it was getting so bad there, I had to duck those guns shooting everywhere. These boys they sure do shoot, but they don't kill the deer like our fellers do in Louisiana. No, they shoot their brothers just for sport.. So I had to sit right down with Kofi Annan, who was there to meet with President Bashar al-Assad. I don't like to work on Sundays, but this was the time these fellers decided to talk to see if the shooting would stop so those babies don't get killed no more.
Well, Kofi, he was trying to explain that people all over the world are getting fed up with Bashar and his goings on with his own folk. So I said, let me say something, so this feller understands, cause Granny she can talk his words and get things understood; and he can't get away with saying I don't understand. Those UN folks they sometimes can't get through to people like this Granny often can.
So I says to Bashar, "بوي، وقلت لك منذ سنوات، عندما كانوا يحاربون مع إخوانكم أكثر من هنا، أنه إذا كنت لا تعلم الدروس الخاصة بك، وكنت أحصل في ورطة كبيرة عندما كبرت، والآن أنت كبير، كنت إعادة في ورطة حقيقية، لأنه أكبر من أي وقت مضى رأيتالتمساح في لويزيانا، أولادنا القيام تعبئتها وشحنها إلى بلدك، وبالتالي فإن الخطوة التالية التي تأخذها قد تكون الخطوة الأخيرةفي أي مكان، إذا لم تقم بإيقاف جودكم سيئة، وكأنني قلت لك منذ سنوات وهذه غتورس يرون جيد، حتى في الليل، مع عيونهمعلى قمم رؤوسهم؛. وعندما تشم رئيس عناء المناسب لذلك، وخاصة بالنسبة للمتاعب أكبر من كل منهم، والتي لا تنسى ، هليكون هذا النوع عندما كان هنا، وأنا فقط جاء لتمكنك من معرفة أن لا شيء يحصل في الماضي اهتمام الجدة الخاص بك، ولا حتى عندما كنت أكذب وأعتقد أن بقية منا لا أعرف ".
Then Kofi says, "Now Granny, repeat all that so I can understand. "
That feller Kofi he might not get that feller Bashar to understand, so I repeated to Kofi what I said to Bashir in plain English, "Boy, I told you years ago, when you were fighting with your brothers over here, that if you didn't learn your lessons, you'd get in big trouble when you grew up. And now you're big, you're in real trouble, because the biggest gator I ever seen in Louisiana, our boys done packed and shipped to your country, so the next step you take might be your last step anywhere, if you don't stop your being bad, like I told you years ago. Those gators they see good, even at night, with their eyes on the tops of their heads; and when they smell trouble head right for it, especially for the biggest troublemaker of them all, which they don't forget, you being that kind when you was here. I just came to let you know that nothing gets past your Granny's attention, not even when you lie and think the rest of us don't know."