“Granny, they took my picture and put it in Newsweek and now everybody’s laughin’ at me. I don’t think they’d do that to me if I was a boy.”
Now Michele she ain’t been callin her Granny lately, her bein’ busy and all in Iowa getting folks to help her get to be President. She is one down right pretty girl, we say around here; but the last time she was in Cloutierville, I thought she might be getting’ a little bit smart alecky like, and that isn’t the way I brung her up, nossiree.
So I says, “Here Michele, I done saw that picture, and it sure isn’t the best one I seen of you. That one in the high school yearbook with your short little skirt and your behind showin,’ well that wasn’t any good either with you jumpin’ around. I told you then you count on your bein’ pretty and all to get you somewhere, then folks are goin’ to find some way to make you settle down. You always been talkin' bad about your cousin, and you know those ten commandments you talk about and keep breakin' Number 8. After all, pretty is as pretty does.
I told your cousin Barry Obama the same thing. He’s a good lookin’ fella himself, but land a goshin some folks made him look like a monkey in some pictures, and even his whole family, and put that on signs or show him lookin’ frownin’ and all, so maybe that’s what they do when you get uppity and all and don’t get down here with your kin.
So put your head down next time and watch your manners, Michele, cause people ain’t gonna like you much if you don’t, and the next picture may be even worse, like someone findin’ that one of you huggin’ Barry out there in the berry patch when you was kids. And what would your fancy friends think then.