You didn't like your gifts this year? Here's Granny's list she's ready to return cause Elmer and her ain't givin' up bein' sexy.
|J'Adore by Christiane Dior - wikimedia commons|
Old folks, like Granny, get body lotion every year or a handkerchief in a card. It's a big reminder us gals is gettin' older. Granny says next year get her sexy underwear from Victoria's secret or J'Adore perfume like advertised by Charlize Therizon, and let her dream of walkin' down the hall towards Grandpa with a sexy, sultry smile she knows her Elmer will just love.
Wool socks for my Elmer, he don't need. He lives in Louisiana and would only wear them three days of every year, and now he has a drawer full of so many he can't get the darn thing closed. Get him matching bikini underwear to Granny's, but put a picture of a lion smack dab in the middle of that underwear, so Elmer can growl and Granny can dream, or both do so much more.
Don't think cause we are older, we ain't sexy anymore, cause we are like some folks know..
Fruit cakes. Never again, please no. Granny makes her kind of fruit cake the best and gives them to families in Cloutierville who like good eatin', and the fruit cakes she gets for gifts just end up stacking on the kitchen counter until next year's Christmas to give to people in Natchitoches who ain't smart enough to know the difference.