Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Secret papers stolen from Granny's table

I had these papers stolen off my kitchen table with Lizzie's notes from the party last week that had Granny's seafood gumbo recipe and where Lizzie was sayin' how Germans can't cook sausage like us folks and French perfume don't smell half as good as vanilla, and now all hell is breakin' loose.

Seafood gumbo from the kind of recipe Chinese might want to steal

 Elmer said, "Granny, I thought I could catch that feller, but he was too fast runnin' down the road and hidin' back in those bushes cause I knew he was up to no good.  Lizzie had those notes that was just between us folks, and now the whole world is going to be mad at Cloutierville."

"Oh, Elmer, it's so embarrassing." I was frettin' cause I left those papers of Lizzie's out there, and they was private.    I remember Lizzie wrote down what Mable said about that German lady Angela Merkel can't cook since she's probably never home and Nicholas Sarkozy probably got Cloutierville perfume for his wife tellin' everyone it was from Paris.  But then there was a lot worse, that could get us into real trouble.

I remember old Joe down the street, well he said to Lizzie he used some of that Chinese spice in his gumbo and had to spit the whole thing out.  It tasted real bad, and he said those Chinese sure don't know how to make a bowl of soup right.  Now they's got Granny's gumbo recipe and gonna try to sell it in China and tell people it's theirs.

Then Lizzie comes runnin' in all worried like and says, "We gotta stop that feller, cause right now he's handin' out copies of those papers up and down the street in Lena and says next time he'll get the big city newspaper, the Alexandria Town Talk, to print them."

"Never mind," I says to Lizzie, "That newspaper ain't dumb enough to do nothin' like that,  but just in case I better sit down and write some apology to those folks like the Germans, the French and Chinese and even some other folks too.  That way they won't stay mad and tell their folks not to visit Cloutierville after I invited them to take their vacations here when Hillary comes to town.

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