Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Granny warns "Don't touch my Billy's junk"

"Miss Janet, what you been foolin' with my Billy's junk like he said was goin on at the airport in Denver?  You ain't touchin' my baby, since he wouldn't even let me after he learned to walk and go potty by hisself, so you get your hands off my child, you hear me girl?"
airport screening in Denver
I hear my Billy on the phone and he tells me, "Granny, they touchin' my junk."  And I says to him, "But honey all I put in that bag you was takin' on the plane was sandwiches," and then he tells me, "Grans you just don't know what that means, it's a word that means my private parts.  They say they have to do it before I get on the plane."

Well, ain't that the limit, I says to myself.  And I hears its from that darn fool Janet Napolitano woman herself, and she's probably down there doin' it too, the way these older women want to check out those young 'uns like I heard tell, these cougars who like coyotes they calls it.  Older women likin' boys, now that's the limit.  So they takin' this way to do this bad thing to my boy, I won't stand for it.

"Granny, now this is important," Miss Janet tells me.  That girl she just goes on talkin' and I'm gettin' madder every minute.  So she says, " We have to be careful about terrorists  It's a safety procedure before people get on the aircraft," but it sounds funny to me since Billy told me they wanted to take picturesand he didn't want anybody havin' those to show off his privates, so they told him they had to touch him, and he thought at least other folks wouldn't be seein' the junk. 

 So I tells that Miss Janet before I gets off the phone, "When you get back to Cloutierville for a visit next time, girl, we gonna keep our boys away from you, cause we don't need you takin' off with one of them now you're older and all fancied up comin' back to get one of our fellers after you done checked them all out at that airport.

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