Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Secret papers stolen from Granny's table

I had these papers stolen off my kitchen table with Lizzie's notes from the party last week that had Granny's seafood gumbo recipe and where Lizzie was sayin' how Germans can't cook sausage like us folks and French perfume don't smell half as good as vanilla, and now all hell is breakin' loose.

Seafood gumbo from the kind of recipe Chinese might want to steal

 Elmer said, "Granny, I thought I could catch that feller, but he was too fast runnin' down the road and hidin' back in those bushes cause I knew he was up to no good.  Lizzie had those notes that was just between us folks, and now the whole world is going to be mad at Cloutierville."

"Oh, Elmer, it's so embarrassing." I was frettin' cause I left those papers of Lizzie's out there, and they was private.    I remember Lizzie wrote down what Mable said about that German lady Angela Merkel can't cook since she's probably never home and Nicholas Sarkozy probably got Cloutierville perfume for his wife tellin' everyone it was from Paris.  But then there was a lot worse, that could get us into real trouble.

I remember old Joe down the street, well he said to Lizzie he used some of that Chinese spice in his gumbo and had to spit the whole thing out.  It tasted real bad, and he said those Chinese sure don't know how to make a bowl of soup right.  Now they's got Granny's gumbo recipe and gonna try to sell it in China and tell people it's theirs.

Then Lizzie comes runnin' in all worried like and says, "We gotta stop that feller, cause right now he's handin' out copies of those papers up and down the street in Lena and says next time he'll get the big city newspaper, the Alexandria Town Talk, to print them."

"Never mind," I says to Lizzie, "That newspaper ain't dumb enough to do nothin' like that,  but just in case I better sit down and write some apology to those folks like the Germans, the French and Chinese and even some other folks too.  That way they won't stay mad and tell their folks not to visit Cloutierville after I invited them to take their vacations here when Hillary comes to town.

Monday, November 29, 2010

A brooch and an old-fashioned lesson about security

"Get your eyes front where they oughta be, cause we gotta get out of this store since my feet is hurtin'  and I got to get back to my cookin' in Cloutierville," I says to my grandson Willy as I sees him lookin' at that girl leanin' down and they soon get a lesson bout what security means.
Emerald brooch for security
I had to stand up close in the back, but I notices my Willy lookin'  where that girl is standin' with her blouse open, and I knows what they's both doin' and I think it's high time I say somethin.'

So I gets up to Willy's ear and says, "I'm gonna grab just where I'm talkin', you hear me son.   Besides Granny sees those wanderin' eyes."

Now Willy he says, "Well, Granny I was just checkin' out the scenery."  But he wasn't just checkin' but starin' with his mouth all open and his tongue stickin' out so I tells him, "Just cause somethin' looks special don't mean it is, especially if a girl shows it all, with nothin' left for any man to dream." 

"Oh, Granny, you're just so old-fashioned," he says, but when he looks at my face he knows that means Granny don't listen to that.

Then I walks over to the girl and I tells her, "My Willy's been checkin' your scenery, he says, But with that door wide open at the top of your waist,  you don't have much security.  It's like that feller that's puttin' up stories on the Internet bout everything our country is doin'.  It just takes your safety away," and I pulls out a brooch I got in my purse and pins it right there on that blouse and says, "You'll get more attention with this pretty brooch, and if some feller gets nosy when you're covered up, that pin on the end can get really handy sometimes"

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Granny warns Korea to return to Cloutierville ways

"I don't care who started it.  I'm finishing this discussion right here and now.  No more excuses cause you're always startin' fights, and one of these days the whole playground is goin' to be gone," I tells them the truth but these boys they don't listen no more..
Kim II Sung in 1984 when he was elected President for life in North Korea
I been watchin' those fellers ever since I been a girl around here, one of them always startin' something, a fight in their neighborhood, and each one blaming it on the other.  Then they get everyone else in the town takin' sides.  But that's the way of the world, just not in Cloutierville.  But sometimes that one feller, he gets real mean, and he won't even listen to Granny.  That's the way playgrounds become evil empires instead.

Granny knows how these problems all start..

"You both belong in the woodshed, "I says,but they both keep talkin' so much on top of each other, no one hears what Granny says anymore.  "But the one of you not takin' care of your children, well you is the one first to blame"

"We only got one Cloutierville.  We also got only one world.  If you boys keep up your fightin', no one will get any sleep and there won't be as much fun round here.  There'll be no time for fishin' or lovin' or even just walkin' the streets, cause your fightin' keeps gettin' bigger each time you boys get a chance, and you keep gettin' others involved." 

Those boys, they's too big for their britches and grown up now, and they're mad cause old Granny scolds them both when they get in these fits, like they doin' right now, and makin' Granny worry bout all her grandbabies that could get hurt if those boys don't start mendin' their ways.

But they're getting grown up now, those boys in Korea, and forgot all our Cloutierville ways.   Round here us folks know the way to keep peace in our families, so that it spreads out to everyone else.  We know who's our brother's keeper, and we know it's not the down the street someplace, and that keeper looks back at us in the bathroom, each morning while we're getting dressed.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Eat, Pray, Love in Cloutierville

Becky called so excited, telling me how I oughta see the movie Eat, Pray, Love where a woman goes on a trip to find herself and I wonder how it takes somebody to have to do that when Granny finds in Cloutierville all of that right here.
Granny's yard where she stands sometimes to pray


"Granny, you gotta see this movie, "Eat, Pray, Love" she was so excited I listened while she told me bout why she thought it would be good for me.  "It's all about this lady who travels in Europe and Asia.  She meets men and learns about love.  She eats good food.  She finds faith in nature and through visiting temples and beautiful places." 

"Of course, we can see it, Becky," I says since my grandchildren love to sit on this old couch and watch movies on Granny's old t.v.  But most of the time we have that darn thing off, they know, since listening to people is so much more fun that watchin' somethin' that can't talk back, nor love and hug as well.

But I tells Becky Granny's notions bout these things like women want, cause every woman does.  The love of a man like Elmer, who fixes things and helps with cookin' and holds Granny's hand in quiet times and her heart within his soul.

Now eatin' that's what Cloutierville folks always like to do.  A piece of fried turkey or chicken, fried catfish, a mess of greens, potatoes from the ground out back, corn bread stuffin' and a slice of pecan pie, is good eatin'' that's for sure.  That beats the tar out of Paris fixin's I figure any day.

Prayin' is not just goin' to church in this town where the man upstairs is with us all the time no matter where we go.  When people stand together in a neighborhood or someone's house, we hold our hands and pray.  In fact we do that all the time, so everything's a prayer.  We do it when we's washin' dishes, carin' for our families and even walking through the countryside of beauty all around.

Eatin, prayin and lovin is what us folks sure do, but for us it's not a movie but what's in our hearts right now, that Granny passes on to you.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Tricky Wikileaks create chaos in Cloutierville

"John, Granny saw what you did; and you better take that sign down from out there cause you puttin' up those tricky Wikileaks on it can sure make trouble for Cloutierville and the sheriff he don't like it."
Sheriff of Cloutierville gets mad when there are tricky leaks
"But Granny, I got freedom to say what I want.  That means no one can stop me, that's what some folks say, so people in town just gotta get used to it cause I'm not gonna stop since I got the right to do it whenever."

"Now John, you know some of our folks have been plannin' to get Governor Bobby Jindal here for our Mardi Gras parade next year.  But now you done tell everyone all the details when the Governor don't even know he can come.

Even worse, you put down on that board out there for everyone to see all the streets in Cloutierville for the parade, where everybody sets up their floats, so other folks can come along and try to get in line before everyone else.  That can make people confused cause some of them will wander onto Rena instead and people won't get to the parade on time.  What's worse they might go to Melrose, and Lord knows what might happen then.  If those folks have the plans for our parade next year, they'll try to make one of their own, so we won't have any visitors here just when we need them the most."

Well John, he starts thinkin' and I can see he's worried bout what he has done now, and I tells him just what all this means.  I also tell him he don't want to be like his brother Julian in Australia whose making all kinds of trouble for people doin' the same thing, only bigger.

"It's true, John, rights are important and they're all very good but they're also for everyone else.  And some people lie and they cheat and they steal, so we gotta be careful at times.  It means we have to think not just bout ourselves but others as well, cause we don't want to cause them no hurt."

I raised you up, boy, so you would know better.  Now do what this old Granny says."  Then I watches my grandchild run right out the door, down the street where he pulls up the sign.   I smile and I wave since I know how he'll help with the parade plans for Cloutierville and undo some of the trouble he caused.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Be thankful for your simple gifts

If you have good health today, be thankful, for that is all you need to take care of yourself and others.
If you have the love of family and friends, be thankful, for that is all you need when you are sad or sick and old.

If you have food on your table, be thankful for there are many folks who have nothing to eat at all.

If you have the light that shines from the man upstairs in your heart and share it with others, be thankful for it's your greatest gift of all.

Love,

Granny
Rest and Be Thankful - Poke Salad Granny

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Granny tells the story of an hour

"What's the matter, Granny?  Can't you sleep?" My Elmer rolled over, seein' me lyin' there with my eyes still open, just thinkin' bout the hour, the awful hour when I saw Kate's house just seem to disappear before my eyes.
Kate Chopin House before it burned down


Like all my friends and family, well I just try to forget, but sometimes the memories of sounds of sirens and the sight of flames just shootin' through the air, it seemed from all directions, takes me back to the time not long ago, when our beloved, great museum in Cloutierville burned down.

That hour, Lord that hour, well I thought my heart would break. The old house,  that held some of the special pieces of the heart of our fine town, burned to blackened cinders, now still lyin' on the ground.

Well, Elmer he remembers and he knows just how I feel.  I watched that old house burn that night and says right then, "This may be the end of Cloutierville."  And Elmer, he knows Granny is just mournin' at the time and says, "Now Granny that hour we was watchin' ain't the end of this great town.  You know you always say that life is not just in our things."

But I  couldn't keep from wonderin' now a few years had done passed, how our beloved Kate would feel if she could see the place she once called home set in flames and gone.  I knows that gal would weep, just like old Granny's cryin' now.

Kate Chopin's house burned down, and now a pile of blackened dirt and bits of cinder still are clingin' to the ground where once that house it stood all filled with special things so many people came to see.
Only the sign remains and the traces of charred wood and blackened dirt behind the mesh fence
Our Kate, she was a writer.  Oh, she loved our Cloutierville so much those many years ago, like she was born right here.  She wrote about us women in ways no woman done before.  She told the tales of people here, of bayous and our lives.  

Every town has something special, like a house, a tree, a mountain or a statue built somewhere that people come to see like folks once came to visit that folk museum  that was once our Kate's great home.  And us old folks when we weep for that old house and the joys it gave us once, we know it's in the lives we share, our families, friends and neighbors, and the beauty of our lands that makes our Cloutierville a paradise on earth.  That was something Kate, long with the angels, always knew--and Granny really knows tonight with Elmer's arms around her she can sleep.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Use Rule #5 from Cloutierville to find Texas or anywhere

"Hey Granny, can you tell me where to turn to get to Texas" and I get ready to tell that feller, and I hear an old man's voice in the back seat say, "Son, I told you--and the driver says, "Shut up old man," then I know that feller didn't follow the rules, so that's why he got lost around here.
Rule #5 on this rock containing 10 - Wikimedia Commons
So I says to the feller that's drivin' and needin directions from Cloutierville to Texas, "You can't get anywhere from here unless you follow Rule #5.. An honorable man learns Rule #5 cause that's what you need for the trip."

Well the feller he looks real confused, so I tells him, "Now Rule #5 is about your Dad there and your Mama too, bless her heart.  If you don't follow that rule you can't get  to Texas from Cloutierville.  In fact, you can't find your way anywhere.  That's the truth, son, you just gotta know."

"I followed this map," the feller said, holding up with one of those foldouts that doesn't give the back roads and such so nothing you can depend on like Rule#5 can be.

"Here's the Rule son," I tells him,"It has to do with your old Dad there, but it really means much more than that.  The Rule says you show respect for your elders, your Mom and your Dad, then you treat them real good all the time."

"But this old man, he's always been worthless.  He ain't been no good for me."  The feller Granny is talkin' to don't know nothin' bout Rule #5 or he'd have figured out those things make no difference when you need to learn rules of the road.

"Rule #5 says how you behave toward that Daddy," I explains while that feller's just scratchin' his head.  "Loving folks who might not love you. Taking care of folks who don't care for you and  learning.   Giving respect for those you may think don't deserve it, as a way of showing you care just like your kids need to do.  Cause that love we all need to get anywhere comes from the heart where the seed is first planted, in the place with our moms and our dads.  That's the Rule so we never get lost."

I watched that feller a moment, then he looked once again at me, and smiled back there at his daddy and said, "Old man, I'm sorry, now what were you going to say?"  And I knew right then that old man and his son would get on the right road to Texas from this town of Cloutierville or to anywhere else they might go.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Granny tells Buzz on getting a job: "There's always another fishing pole"

Buzz ain't been workin' for months he says.  He calls me from Ohio just worryin' a bunch bout it, since the employment rate is so high.  But I tells him, "Buzz, there's always another fishin' pole," and here is what that means.
Man on Grand Isle checking out the water for fishing
"All of us have a fishin' pole we get when we are born.  That fishin' pole can mean most anything.  It can mean a talent for fishin' for sure.  It can mean a person can paint or write or use a hammer and saw or get folks to work together.  It's knowin' bout that fishin' pole, learnin' to be smart with it, and believin' you're the best darn fisherman around that makes a difference in what can happen for you."

Well Buzz, he thought a moment and he says, "What can I do?"  And I tells him, "Just think back when you were really little here in Cloutierville and playin' with other children.  What was the thing you always thought of doin' the first thing you got up every day, the thing you wanted to do and liked the most when you was just a boy?"

He says to me, "Well I liked to take my wagon around with things I found in the neighborhood and see if other people wanted to buy them from me.  Most folks just had things to get rid of and didn't know how to get them around so other people knew.  So I took them in my wagon, and I found those other folks.  The people who had the things they gave me got rid of them or sold them, and the people who bought them from me didn't have as much to pay if those things I had were new."

He's quiet just a moment, then he says, "Oh, I know now.  I looked forward to takin' my wagon around like that and meeting people too.  I hadn't thought about it since I was a kid myself those many years ago back home in Cloutierville.  But I think I know what you mean, Granny, that wagon and what I done back then, well that's my fishing pole."

Everybody has a fishin' pole, but findin' it's the trick.  But Granny says, begin right there; and give yourself a chance because knowin' there's something you have inside that's special gives you hope when you have none. 

And most of all, when you get that fishin' pole workin' for you and catchin' fish again, just don't forget to thank the man upstairs who gave it to you first.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Airline costs force Robin to find boots for walkin' to Missouri

My poor little Robin.  He's walkin' to Missouri cause he can't afford to fly.  He says after he pays his airplane fare then he has to pay the same again,  just to travel to Missouri from Kansas.
Robin painting - wikimedia commons


Robin he called me Saturday and said he had to leave right away to make that Thursday dinner in Missouri with the family and sure can't make it to Cloutierville, Louisiana to see Granny cause of the costs unless he walks here too. 

"Granny, it's the darndest thing, the last time I went to visit Aunt Myrtle in Tennessee I get to the airport with a couple little bags.  They make me pay for them extra.  Then I have to pay extra cause I'm tall so I can sit in the exit row.  There wasn't any free food, but they came around with a tray so I had to buy some.   It was chilly in that part of the plane, so I asked for a blanket and pillow and they tell me they don't have them anymore but maybe I can buy them at the airport, but we were already flying, so that didn't make any sense."

It just got worse, he tells me and started right at the beginning and went on until he got to Myrtle's house.  "I asked for a magazine, and they tells me they don't have any in the cabin, but I can read the free one about their airplane and a catalogue in front of the seat.  But they offer me a movie, and they says I can pay for that if I want something to do, but then said I needed a  credit card,, and all I had was a driver's license. 

He went on, and I get wonderin' how silly all this is, not like when Granny used to get on the plane and it was really fun..  "I get to the airport and then find out the buses are runnin' slow to Myrtle's house so I should get a cab.  That cost me extra since I had those bags and Myrtle lives 15 miles from the airport."

So, he told me, "I'm walkin' to Missouri not flying this time, but I think I might have to run a lot cause it's just next door to Kansas but it's still a lot of miles to walk."

But Granny had a suggestion to help him out this time, "You know I heard tell there are boots made for walkin' some folks use to walk all over other fellers you might just get for walkin' to Missouri instead to get to that dinner on time, you can use afterward to walk all over some fellers that's might been botherin' your lady friends."

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Rumors, lies and pecan pies offer life's good lesson


"Granny you will not believe what I just heard! " That grandbaby Sandy she's all frettin' so I ask her what's the matter, and this is what she said bout what happened while Granny's gettin' her pies baked for next week's big dinner.
Pecan pumpkin pie like Granny makes
"Well, Granny, you know how Miss Jeanie said she had some delicious pecans and offered you some, and then you told our neighbor you were thinkin’ of makin some extra pie for the big family dinner next week? Well you know how our neighbor is, she ran right over to her cousin in the next town and said that you were gonna make Granny’s Famous Pecan pie for that Thanksgiving dinner.

 Well I went to visit Alexandria to see if the fabric store had any new fabric in, and Ray from the hardware shop came up to me and said he was lookin real forward to that Pecan Pie you were making, an’ I told him that you were making your pumpkin pie and your apple crisp like you do every year.

Its an honest mistake surely, but now the people in the next town are saying you are a liar, and deceiting people and some have called you evil! Can you believe that? And all because some gossipy ole busy body took what you said and twisted it around like one of those cotton mouths on a tree branch. Now some people are saying they won’t even eat your apple crisp or your pumpkin pie and they are trying to tell everyone else not to eat it and tellin people that you put bad apples in your crisp and you use canned pumpkin instead of real pumpkin in your pie!

Well we know who the real bad apples are, but it still makes me so mad! It also makes me wonder what kind of misery they have in their own lives that they have to try to get at other people, even the ones from the next town! Well all I have to say, is if people waste all that food you make, it is on their conscience. I am sure I can call some of my friends to help finish up whatever  others waste believing those lies."

Now that Sandy she sure is somethin' cause she didn't stop for a breath while she's blurtin' out this story, but I says to her, "We's all guilty of tellin' stories and people get spiteful sometimes, even in Cloutierville  too.  And some folks they just don't take time to find out what's really goin' on when they gets doin' things with their friends and all.  They think it's fun, but then the fun it soon just goes away.  You see Granny is doing that pumpkin pecan pie, cause they don't know they taste so good together since I figured this afternoon with those pecans around I could put them in my recipe.  So they gonna miss out when they tellin' tales like that."

Rumors and pies, they both get folks excited, but the best pies you remember and the rumors you tend to forget."

Friday, November 19, 2010

Granny talks about family ghosts that come at death and holidays

Martin lives at the end of the street here in Cloutierville, older now, more than 70, people talkin' bout how well he paints and acts at the local church events, but Granny knows his secrets and the ghosts there on his roof.
                                            Illustration for Charles Dickens by Phiz for story Bleak House

"Granny, tell me something," Beulah, my neighbor asked. "What's wrong with Martin?  He don't talk much about his family, except bout his young 'uns here.  But he's an older feller with other children too, I thought I heard about, that's been livin' far away.  I don't want to bother, but he's a friend I worry over at the holidays."

I says to Beulah, whose heart's so good and always wants to help. "I think there's something deep inside, where people seldom go, and where their thoughts get all mixed up and old hurts stay around.  I think that's goin' on with Martin bout his other boys, the ones grown up he left those many years ago. 

Beulah she's all listenin' cause we know of other folks who walk away from families and are haunted by their ghosts.  I tell her I heard from one of Martin's boys who called, real sick, years ago and told me his daddy Martin wouldn't help him, and the boy he gone and died.  His other son that's left now has so much pain and anger that just stays around inside.

So I says to Beulah, "Some folks need lots more time to heal their hurts and need to dig right down where all of it still stays.  Cause if they don't that poison will fill their bodies up and they will die much sooner than they think." 

Beulah steps out into my garden and pulls a plant up from the roots and says, that wise, good friend of mine, "Is this what you've been sayin', that people need to go right here, to the root where all things grow?"And I nods, cause this is somethin' Granny wants for folks to know.

Beulah and Martin they been friends from many years ago, and she tells me she's gonna talk to him about what Granny says.  "I want Martin to know the hurts he caused those boys and his own life before it's just too late," Beulah says to me as she starts to walk away.

I tell Beulah as she's leavin' and walkin' down the street, "Remember things happen for some purpose,  with a time to hug and heal, and even a time not to hug when folks need time alone.  For everything that happens to us, even the pain we get, gives greater understanding for our lives."

Beulah goes down the street and stands at Martin's door, and then it opens wide.  She holds her arms straight out for him.  They hug and go inside.

Those ghosts that sat on Martin's house, they seemed to fade into the bayou mist like they would not return.  Cause what Martin's old friend Beulah learned from Granny were those things he had to hear, before those family ghosts came down and climbed into his grave.
The son reaches out with his hand to his father

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Royal family considers a honeymoon in Cloutierville, Louisiana

"Yes, Prince Charles, I heard the news, I can tell you're really happy and they're such a nice-lookin pair of folks I hope you tell them to come to Cloutierville like we planned for their honeymoon next year, cause where else would a couple like William and Kate want to spend one of the best times of their lives."
Historic house in Cloutierville and hospital for confederate soldiers during the Civil War
Now Charlie--I calls him that cause he and me we got this way of speakin' when we're talkin' family things.  And he don't say much most times, but now he says to me on the phone, "Now Granny going to America is hard, you know, the Royal Family budget is getting tight.  Our allowance has been cut because everyone's going broke around here in Great Britain.  But someone told me my country  wants a really fine wedding, something they could feel good about.  Still we got to watch those pennies.  So maybe a trip to Cloutierville for their honeymoon would be a right good plan so my William and his Kate could rest and relax and have fun, since all I hear is Cloutierville is the best place anyone can travel to on earth when they're in love, like you and Elmer."

"Here's what I'm thinkin', Charlie," and I can tell he's gettin' real excited on the phone, "I'll talk to Elmer, and we'll plan a reception at the hall down the road at the church,  just so they can say they done it up in a really fine place with all the trimmin's.  We'll serve them the best cornbread they ever tasted, with gumbo and greens and all that fried chicken you always liked me to fix."

Well, Charlie  I never heard him talk so fast when he says to me, "Granny would you?  You'd go through all that trouble for me?"

I tells him it won't be trouble at all for folks like us, cause we give people the royal treatment all the time when they come here, except those folks who act too high and mighty, but I knows that Charlie's young 'un has to be a good  feller, since his mama Miss Diane was so sweet to this Granny before she gone and died so early leavin' those boys for their daddy to raise. 

Now Charlie he can't believe how lucky he is now, since we don't plan such fussin' every day round here except Sunday.  "Now if your William and his Miss Kate want to get out a bit, and don't mind a place where folks aren't quite as smart and friendly like we are in Cloutierville, we'll send them down the road a piece in either direction they like, to Alexandria or Natchitoches, where they can check into a motel like everybody else so they can get some serious lovin' done, like me and Elmer do.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Granny warns "Don't touch my Billy's junk"

"Miss Janet, what you been foolin' with my Billy's junk like he said was goin on at the airport in Denver?  You ain't touchin' my baby, since he wouldn't even let me after he learned to walk and go potty by hisself, so you get your hands off my child, you hear me girl?"
airport screening in Denver
I hear my Billy on the phone and he tells me, "Granny, they touchin' my junk."  And I says to him, "But honey all I put in that bag you was takin' on the plane was sandwiches," and then he tells me, "Grans you just don't know what that means, it's a word that means my private parts.  They say they have to do it before I get on the plane."

Well, ain't that the limit, I says to myself.  And I hears its from that darn fool Janet Napolitano woman herself, and she's probably down there doin' it too, the way these older women want to check out those young 'uns like I heard tell, these cougars who like coyotes they calls it.  Older women likin' boys, now that's the limit.  So they takin' this way to do this bad thing to my boy, I won't stand for it.

"Granny, now this is important," Miss Janet tells me.  That girl she just goes on talkin' and I'm gettin' madder every minute.  So she says, " We have to be careful about terrorists  It's a safety procedure before people get on the aircraft," but it sounds funny to me since Billy told me they wanted to take picturesand he didn't want anybody havin' those to show off his privates, so they told him they had to touch him, and he thought at least other folks wouldn't be seein' the junk. 

 So I tells that Miss Janet before I gets off the phone, "When you get back to Cloutierville for a visit next time, girl, we gonna keep our boys away from you, cause we don't need you takin' off with one of them now you're older and all fancied up comin' back to get one of our fellers after you done checked them all out at that airport.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Granny's Cloutierville closer to the truth than Sarah Palin's Alaska

So Elmer and me got the kids in the boat to go out in the bayous along Cane River cause if Sarah Palin is showin' people Alaska then we gotta be real about Cloutierville, and Granny ain't runnin' for President, and here we are livin' closer to the truth.
Swamps in Cloutierville
         
"Look kids, it's a mama alligator with her baby," Elmer pipes up to Pepper our eight-year-old granddaughter as we get going down the river and into the bayous.  "How can you tell?" Pepper she asks lots of questions.  Granny says "Cause that's the one wearin' the lipstick."

"Grab one of those oars and hit the snakes we been passin' so people can see you real clear and just how tough old Granny can be," Elmer tells me, as he puffs up his chest to look strong as he's leadin' the way just like Todd Palin is doing on that t.v. show we been seein.'

You betcha Granny knows these bushes and bayous and how to get past the snakes and gators, since she fought one of the big ones that sits in the yard by the house.

Alaska's got nothin' on Cloutierville, as folks round these parts all know.  So Sarah Palin ought to join Elmer and Granny in the swampland to see just how tough she can be, where you can't see Russia but need eyes in the back of your head and a brain to figure it out and a whole lot closer to the truth.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Remember the soldiers our nation forgot

"Stop the car, Elmer," "I can't," he says, "this is a busy street,"and I tells him, "Well, you gotta pull off the road, cause that's Corey we ain't seen in years since he joined the Army, standin' over there, with that sign, "Will work for food."
Homeless veteran - wikimedia commons
Elmer he slowed down and stopped on the side, and there it was Corey, just like I thought.  It was hard to recognize that child with a beard and his face all red and blotched and his clothes hanging out around and that big old sign he was holdin'

"It's Granny, Corey.  Now you get in this car.  You're goin' home to Cloutierville.  You can't be standin' out like this."

"Oh Granny, I can't go back again.  It's too late for me, and you can't help me none anymore, "he says, and I shakes my head, cause I ain't leavin' that child by hisself one more day out there just askin for food in the rain and the cold on that road all alone.

"It's the drugs,Granny.  I can't let go, and I need to be left alone.  You see when those nightmares come, I start seein' that fightin' all over again, and I have to keep movin' cause I just can't stand how I feel.  And when those people called me names and said I'd been killin' babies,  I had to keep movin' on, feelin' so bad all the time.   I been livin' like this for years, and when I needed help there wasn't none, Granny.  I don't know any other way to survive."

As I reach out my hand to that feller all ragged and weary and hurt, he looks at me hard, with those tears in his eyes, and said "Granny, just bless me goodbye," then he ran, Lord he ran down that road, droppin' that sign on the road he done left, and we never did see him again.

But last night as I lay beside Elmer, I touched him a moment, and he says to me soft, "I know you feel bad for dear Corey, but he's gone now and what can you do?  Take that writing pencil you got there, and tell folks to watch out for Corey and other fellers like him, those soldiers our nation forgot."

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Don't take your gun to church, son

"Where you going with that gun, Bert?  We're goin' to church not a rifle range, and there's not gonna be deer at church," then he tells me the law says he can, so he is, just in case, and I wonder what fool thing is all that.
Pistol

Sure enough Elmer comes up and says to me, "Yep, in Louisiana those folks in Baton Rouge done made it so we can take guns to church, just in case someone acts crazy and starts shootin' up in there."


Well, now I heard tell of those things, but in my long life I ain't heard tell of tht very much   I gotta wonder how it makes sense to be prayin' and packin' all at the same time.  I remember those folks sayin' on t.v. in some religion group, "what would Jesus think," and that's now goin' through my mind along with what would Jesus think about even askin' the question.

"No, Granny tells you no, son.  Don't take that gun to church boy,"and he looks at me and says, "Granny you don't understand.  You know, something just could happen.  Times have changed since you were young.  Besides I won't shoot unless someone shoots first "  But I just shakes my head, "It don't change that much round here, son."

So I tells him if he can think of anytime in Cloutierville someone got shot in church or somebody tells him about when it happened, then maybe we'll talk bout it.

Bert goes down the street askin' the neighbors bout anyone shot in church and stays gone until it's gettin' late and we're waitin' on him so the bunch of us can leave.  But finally he comes in the door and and puts the gun back in the cabinet, then turns around and says to me, "Granny, you're right, let's go, I'm ready now," because that child never found a single person ever died from being shot at church, or even Sunday School, although some folks they told him they sometimes slept like they was dead through some preacher's sermons when it just gets too darn long.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Granny tells a cupcake story about spreading tales and owning your mistakes

"Where you goin with those cupcakes, Granny,?"  my Melody Sue asks, and I answers, "I'm givin' these to Alice," and when that grandchild of mine asks why do that when Alice doesn't like me, I tells her,  "It's Granny's lesson never to spread tales."
"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"
So I sits right down beside Melody Sue on the front porch this mornin' as the cupcakes sit beside me on that table waitin' for the walk to Alice's house for her birthday is today.

"Years ago when Granny was a young woman, Alice and me we worked those pecan fields.  The work was hard, especially when the weather was so hot and we was all poor and needin' money too.  The owner he paid extra for the ones who done the most, and all of us we worked real hard for that.

One day I thought I saw Alice take pecans out of someone's sack and others did that too sometimes, and I thought well that was wrong.  So I started tellin' other folks that's workin' bout those folks I thought were stealin' pecans, and I finally  says it all out loud so everyone can hear.

The boss he heard commotion and came running through that field and grabbed my arm and took me straight away.  I wondered why he did that since I didn't steal the pecans, but I learned right fast that I did worse than that"

He tells me, "Listen up girl, when you saw those folks stealin' you needed to say something straight to them, not everybody else and never out loud to make them hurt and start a fuss like that.  Now folks are fightin' with each other, and it's all about those tales.  When you told me, that should have been enough.

Now you can stay here and work," the boss man said, "But I knew that it was too late, and I was wrong, and pecans they grow wild around this town,  and are plenty at Little Eva Plantation near Cloutierville, so there's plenty of nuts just layin' all around I could pick all by myself."

So you see that Alice she done taught Granny a lesson, and she might never know how special that can be.  Cause all of us needs lessons so we grow.  Even when we get older lessons come to teach us somethin'.  It's takin' those lessons and learnin' somethin' from them, that's important.  It's Alice's birthday, and an important day for me."

Melody Sue, she understands and hands that cupcake tin to me and says with a big smile, "We all love Alice too Granny, now you told this story.  If someday when the angels come for you or you're sick and you can't go, we will take that Alice cupcakes on her birthday all her life for the gift she gave our Granny years ago."

Friday, November 12, 2010

Ben gets a lesson from Granny on what bullying means in life and politics

"Fatty, fatty 2 x 4," Granny hears them yellin' with little Larry cryin' his eyes out and runnin' down the street.  "You get in here, Ben, this minute and go to your room," until you figure out what you just done, "as I head in there to give that boy a set to how bullying hurts in life and politics.
physical bullying - but bullying can also be calling names
"But Granny, I didn't do nothin," he tells me, and he's pouting and sittin' there with his head down, shakin'.  "What did I do?"

"You were there.  That's enough." I tells him.

"I didn't say nothin' about that boy," Ben looks at me with his forehead bunched up,  "I don't understand."

"You were there.  Now you figure what that means, and when you know what I'm tellin' you here, you can come back out of that room.  Until then, you just sit in there and think about it awhile."

Ben lives down the street, and I been watchin' today when he gets off the bus and walks past the house, but this was the first day I see my grandson, Larry, with those children.  They were standin' there in a bunch, makin' fun of that little boy, and Granny knows how that feels.

Granny remembers years ago that name the children called her in school, all those years ago.  "Long John Sliver" they called me then, cause I was skinny and my Mama cut my hair straight across, and I was gettin' tall.  Names like that they stick a bit.  Larry needs to know what all that means to children and us grownups need to also, cause it feels bad for a long, long time when someone calls you names.

It's dinnertime.  I know that boy he's hungry now and worried bout his shame and I wonder if he knows just what he's done today and how cause everybody does name-calling, doesn't ever make it really right whether that's with children in Cloutierville or politics in elections.  Name-calling means people don't talk with each other and won't do what they should.

"Granny, loves you child," I tells him, as he peers across the pillow he's got holdin' on his chin when I go back into his room.  "You know now what you did that Granny says is bad, you standin' there and all?"

"I didn't say nothin' that's what you mean.  I didn't tell those kids to stop, and I should've done that to help Larry, I think," Ben says, and he looks back up at me with that little face still worried bout makin' his Granny mad, but now he's learned what grownups should too that not speakin' up when something's wrong is just as bad as doin' that somethin' bad yourself.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Granny comforts Myrtle on the death of a pet

"Sam died," Myrtle was crying so hard on that phone I could barely understand her, "and the neighbor lady said, well it was just a dog, not like my husband Bud or nothin'," and I tells her love is really more than that.
drawing of angel or goddess with animals in a heavenly place
Granny remembers the dog she had those many years ago here in Cloutierville when Granny was just big enough to understand a bit.  I cried for Freckles, Lord I cried so hard and long and wondered why things had to die like that. 

I still remember Freckles as I hear my good friend cry, and I tells her this because I understand, "Everything we love is separate from everything else we love.  Love has lots of ways for us and opens lots of doors.  Things live, things die; and each time that we love we learn to love much better, cause that's why we get these gifts, these creatures in our lives.  They give so much with little in return, and sometimes I think they bring more from heaven than people cause they know how to give like that.

But in those gifts we get from those created to give love, we grow and learn ourselves.  What they were to us never goes away, but in that place where all good creatures come that angel-like way wants us to love again.  These creatures, they are many now, and many needin' us.   Sometimes that's why we lose the ones we love, so we can find love again somewhere else and help another one."

Now Myrtle, she's still sobbin' and I know she will today, tomorrow and forever in her heart.  Cause cryin' when we lose something we love so very much can hurt us very deep.  And I tells her, "Let that cryin' come and think again of where there's some creature cryin too for someone it can love  and just waitin' for you to come and take it home."

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Bush asks to go to Cloutierville for a book signing

You comin' here to Cloutierville, George?" I asked him on the phone when he rang me up and Elmer asks, "Is that the guy I'd like to have a beer with?" but I remember someone sayin' he just "drank the Kool-Aid"and passed it along to his folks.
Bush's book available at Amazon.com, former President now on book tour
"Granny, you know I got my chance to tell my truth to folks," George tells me, and I says to him, "George Bush you know I caught you lots of times with fibs, and you know what I said about that, when you tell so many, how can people believe you the next time?"

"It's just torture what happened to me, you remember what that fellow did to me calling me a racist," and George sounded a bit peeved when he said it, "That's the worst thing that ever happened to me."

"What about water-boarding?" I asks him,  and he says, "Damn right.  Now let me explain that's all legal and kept those terrorists out of our country."

"But George that just got folks riled up, when you could have just called the terrorists a bunch of racists themselves, and that should have been torture enough."

Now George, he's all quiet, but I know he's listening a bit, then he says, "Granny, I just can't discuss it, you know.  There are many more important things, like my legacy and this book that I'm selling..    Want to buy one?  I don't know how many I'll sell, but if I mention people are reading them in Cloutierville, that should get folks interested everywhere else."

But I explains to George that folks here in Cloutierville have enough trouble trying to keep body and soul together after the mess he made with our schools that afterward was no child with a behind that was left.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Domestic abuse gets Granny's 'gator hungry

"Hey, bitch.  Get back out here, you don't need to be complainin' to Granny." I hear him in that truck, and she's standin' in the kitchen shakin', and I tells her she's like a broken bird that will never fly,unless she really gets free of that hurt out there.
Gator guards Granny's house

"Granny, you get out of my way.  That's my wife, and I'm the one she's got to reckon with," he says in that voice Elmer and me we heard enough of in our lives.  Our granddaughter, Melody Ann has been here so many times we done lost count, and here she is again.

"It's alligator time, for you, Buck, "I tells him, "You step across that lawn, and he can smell you comin' long before Elmer gets there to shoo you off.  So you better hightail it out of here, cause the sheriff he's a comin. ' We won't be havin' anymore of this."

Elmer grabs me cause I'm shakin' now myself, but not because I'm scared like Melody Ann is, so many times she's cried into these arms.  I'm shakin' cause I'm madder than I ever been before.  A place like Cloutierville, so peaceful like, Buck comes here from the town down the road, where I told her not to move with that man, away from her family and friends, like he told her they oughta do. He just wanted to have her to himself like he always has, where we can't do nothin' to stop him and where she can't get help.

That child she got no bruisin' except what's in her heart.  It's the words he uses that hurts her so much, she can't seem to do anything these days except get on the phone to me.  Her friends ain't seen her, and she hasn't been to church in so long, we all been worried so.  He don't always swear, but he puts her down in front of everyone,, the poor child she just looks so sad.  Then he goes and makes up with her, and it starts all over again.

Buck, well he don't listen; and as I walk inside the door to check on my Melody Ann,  I hear a scrunch behind me, then a rustle in the bushes as the gator comes back and sits there like he always does when he didn't get this granny, but decided to keep the varmints away instead.

Monday, November 8, 2010

John Boehner heading for a shellacking too if he doesn't play fair

"I can't hear you with all that noise goin on, can you speak up, John?   You told me before the party was over before and now it's goin on again, and are you going to just get drunk and  talk a lot and not do, little Mr. Boehner and fight with the other kids again? "
John Boehmer, Republican, new Speaker of the House
"Granny, we just won the election, and everybody is talkin' at once.  But I'm so happy, oh, I just get teared up thinking about it.  They love me; they really, really love me."  John, he's known for lettin' those feelings out.  I told him when he was little visitin' his Granny in Cloutierville not to be afraid to cry, and he sure does it when he needs to now.  I told him he didn't win an Oscar like Sally Field so don't be sure he won cause people love him.  But I also told him Granny does, and that's enough, but he still needs to get over himself.

"John, remember what I told you before?" I tells him, " Folks can be fickle.  They love you one day.  The next day they give you the boot. And if you don't decide to play nice and stop wantin' things your way all the time, then you goin' to have trouble all over again.  You hear, me, child? "

"But Granny, it's our turn."  That John, forgettin' who he's talkin to, but he's stopped his cryin' enough to listen a minute.  "Don't you think we should have a turn?"he asks, and I wonder why that child doesn't remember what he does half the time.

"All you do is start fightin' again.  You go back there and say you aren't gonna play with those other folks.  I think you did that before, didn't you?  Look what happened.  The other fellow says he wants to be friends, but you don't?  Nothin's gonna get done, and then you come here whinin' when you lose. 

And let me tell you one more thing before you gets off this phone.  Granny's proud of you for workin' so you won,  but you better watch out, that woodshed is waitin' if your shenanigans make trouble for some of us old folks and if you didn't tell the truth and all, cause I  tell you, and you gettin'  two shellackin's then, one from those folks you beat and the other one from me."

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Cloutierville and a national dilemma of cupcakes, texting and telephones

"Becky Sue, did you just win the election for Senator or did you get to be a doctor today? "No, Granny, why you asking?" I start to tell her, while that phone is on her ear, and then she turns and is on it with her thumbs again.


Then Becky Sue she says, "I just love your cupcakes, Granny. Can I have a chocolate one, cause they smell so good.  Now what were you going to tell me?" Then the next thing I know she's on that darn phone again with both hands holdin' it, and her thumbs just bangin' away.

"Just a minute, Granny, it might be important." And the next thing I know, she looks down at the phone and starts doin' all that business with her thumbs again.

Then the phone rings after she's done with her thumbs, and she's sayin,' Oh, yes, I just love Ricky Martin.  Didn't I tell you on Facebook?" and her talkin' just goes on and on.

That Becky Sue she's twelve years old, but I never sees her playin outside much anymore and runnin' down that street like she used to do to get to Granny's house cause she walks real slow with that phone in both hands with her thumbs thumpin' or up to her ear most of the time.

"I'll take that cupcake, Granny," she says, after several more times she's on that phone, lookin' at me with one of her hungry eyes, with the other eye starin' at her phone with her thumbs just ready to thump it again, and I tells her, " That cupcake just went out the back door with the postman bringin' mail to Cloutierville, cause he passed by and asked me how I was and talked with me awhile.  He said I was important and kept right on talkin' to me while the phone in his pocket kept ringin."

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Sex is for old people too, says Granny

"Granny, I need to talk with you about something personal, like do you and Grandpa still have sex," and I got to smile cause I can tell that child doesn't know about old people who have fun like other folks..
GalinKorb painting of love, Kristan of Hamle

"Ellen Marie, now you gettin' old enough to talk bout things, so spit it all out, girl, and tell me what's worryin' you now." She looks down so I can't see her eyes, real nervous like, talkin' to a Granny bout somethin' personal that's just as natural as can be.  Sixteen years old she is and all filled out like she's almost grown and dreamin' bout those boys.

"I just don't know but mama says, well sex is having babies, but I don't see you and Grandpa making any so I wondered about old people and if they just stop doing it."Little Ellen Marie, she is just twistin' her little hands in her lap, with her head down and fidgety, like she wants to leave or stay and can't figure what to do next.

"Sex, you want to talk about," I says, and I see her little shoulders straighten and her eyes look big and wide.  "Let's just talk plain.  You sit on down, child, cause now is the time it's a thing you need to know."

So I tells her, "Some boys and girls get babies startin' early, and that often doesn't work.  They think  sex is fun.,, and it sure is, but they don't know it's really more than that.  It really gets fun when you're old when you have the lovin' and those good memories.  Now all of that sex is special and a gift that's given to us, but it's also something hard to handle when you get a baby early and have so much work to do.  That's when folks get all tense and mad, and it spoils those memories.  Cause some young 'uns they ain't careful, so you gotta be old enough to know what love is all about and that you can have a life of it, if your heart is really open, and you care for yourself too.

Now Ellen Marie she's got her head up and lookin' straight at me, so I says, "Grandpa and me we love each other and we have lovin' anytime we like, cause when you old there ain't no babies and no worries about time here in Cloutierville.  And that lovin' part, well it is many things and better all the time, especially when the years grow long, and you know each other well."

Ellen Marie she stands up real proud and says before she leaves, "You know Granny you made me think about growing up and getting old doesn't make me worry so much, cause I thought before I'd better hurry up since I didn't know old people could love like other folks.   But now I know you and Grandpa do, and that it makes you like you are, I don't need to be in a rush to do everything right now."

"Yes, now you get goin', " I says,  "cause my Elmer's comin' back from fishin' and he likes his cuddle time with Granny.  Because, my girl, love is really endless in all the ways it comes, and a man you love he just fills you up in many, many ways, when you know how all that can work.  If the angels take him from you, or he leaves to somewhere else, there's those good memories left that never goes away. " And I see my Ellen Marie grin as she's walkin' out the door, knowin' there's plenty of time for lovin' all your life, even when you're old, and I gives that child a wink.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Barack Obama confides to Granny how he feels about the election

"Didn't you listen?  Didn't I tell you to listen?"  "Well, Granny, I tried, but it was hard to hear with everyone talking at once, changing their minds, yelling and even telling fibs. "
President Barack Obama that Granny calls Barry - wikimedia commons
"Granny, I knew I could talk to you.  I thought I would just cry right there in front of everyone, it hurt so much makin' everybody lose the election like that."  He's talkin' real slow now and louder cause it's important. "People talkin' bout my religion and gettin' it wrong.  People talkin' bout my birth certificate and gettin' that wrong.  I know I make mistakes, but sometimes it hurts for people to say no to everything when you are working as hard as you can."

And I tells him, "Remember what I told you that getting mad back wasn't a good way to get things done.  That's the job you have that's part of it."

That Barack.  He calls me every time this kind of thing happens and he thinks he's failin' somethin'.   He's been a good boy, studied hard,, worked hard all his life.  It's hard to have a big job and have people being mean and not always been right but trying real hard too.  I told him that when he started out with that big job in Washington,  but he said, "Granny, I want to try.  I really want to try to do a good job."  And I told him, "Sweet child, I know that, but you gotta listen and understand that not everyone will like you no matter what you do."

"Granny, this is what I heard.  People said they wanted good health for everybody and that was important, so I did my best.  They said everybody and the government should help.  Then they changed their minds with people having these meetings and not even listening at all.

They said they didn't want Wall Street folks to do whatever they wanted so I said okay to that and did some things to help make it better.

They told me those big bonuses to executives were too much, and I said I'd try to fix that..

So I listened, but it's hard when people say they want you to fail all along, no matter what you do." He sounds real tired right now. Getting ready for that long trip and the election where he had to run around all those places would make a body weak.

"But Barry, that's the way it is and is for everyone.  That big job you got has broken down other Presidents before. when people didn't like them and they thought they had failed.  Everyone fails at something.  Sometimes they did.  Sometimes people do.  Sometimes you do.  You just try and listen the best you can and don't worry because things has a way of workin' out for the good," I tells him, but he sounds so sad today.

"Now you just do your best cause the best is all that you can do and remember Granny loves you and even those who don't love you, cause I don't pick favorites in my family.  Sometimes I just don't like what some of them do when they're mad, cause that's not good.

I'll talk to the man upstairs again for you, Barry.  You say hello to Michelle and those babies and dry those tears and be safe cause the poke salad patch and Cloutierville is here for you to come to if things just gets too hard.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Granny gets riled about a boy locked in a closet and not being able to tell

"He came out of the closet.  I was so disappointed, Granny cause I had a crush on him."    Now I'll be switched, that sounded silly, but then it got worse when Beth said, "I think he should have just stayed with  don't ask, don't tell" like President Clinton said, don't you?"
Former President Clinton at Naval Academy, who initiated regulations on "don't ask, don't tell"
"How long was he in the closet?" I asked Beth, and when she said, "Almost his whole life," then I was really riled.

"Poor child, well that sounds men.."

"And now he's comin' back to Cloutierville without any job because of "don't ask, don't tell." Beth sounded mad since she and Jimmy is friends.

"Well, he sure should have told someone after bein' in that closet all those years.  They must have just let him out for school since I saw him gettin' on the bus with the rest of you." I looked at Beth, as she shook her head.

"No Granny, you don't know how they made fun of him on that bus so that's why he was in the closet all those years."

Granny heard of bullyin' on that t.v., but this was far enough, makin' fun of a child like that so he had to stay in the closet when he wasn't goin' to school.

We'd all been right proud of Jimmy when he became a Marine.  When he went to Iraq, his Mama came to my house frettin' all the time.  But now I finds that child was locked up all those years, no wonder he went in the service. 

Beth tells me they made him leave the Marines just because he came out of that closet.  He's comin' home without one of his hands, and all he knows is farmin'' like his daddy did all those years.

I was goin' to write my Senator and tell him bout all this, cause Lordy this all don't sound good to me, but then I finds out from Beth that the government feller thinks it's right because coming out of the closet he thinks upsets all those Marines.

Granny wonders how many folks know about that boy in the closet and what happened and now that feller that helped keep him there is goin' back to Washington.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

On election day Granny can't stop thinkin' bout the tears on Lincoln's face

"Granny, don't you have the t.v. on? There's an election today, don't you want to know what happens?"  "I already know," I told Ben, "It don't matter as much as the meanness that went on and the tears on Lincoln's face."
Damage to Richmond, Virginia during the Civil War
 

Ben is 16 years old, and with his big eyes looks at the world with wonder most of the time when we talk.  That grandson of mine he's always been the kind of child that looks at things in real good ways.  But lately he's been getting angry, and I asked him why is that.

 "Well, Granny everybody's angry.  Ain't I supposed to be?"  And I sit him down and tell him bout the tears on Lincoln's face.

"We sittin' here, Ben; and you all angry and shakin' your fist and worried bout this country like the folks there on t.v.  Let me tell you bout the man who worried bout it too, when times was hard, and there was hate in every corner of the land.  Many people was angry then, just like they are today.  Every man who spoke up then, each said only they was right.

And old Abe Lincoln he saw the country fight against itself in awful ways, and men die all around him,  men who thought America would never survive, and that the hate would never leave.  Lincoln knew though everyone was all Americans and folks would learn to live together and work hard after all that pain cause they knew they was countrymen. 

But in this year, oh Ben I think, there's tears on that man's face now, even in his grave, cause folks raise their fists in anger once again in the same way they did long ago, each thinkin' they's the man that's really right but this time promise they'll never change.

So I can't watch t.v. today, Ben,  and watch the meanness too.  I done made my vote in Cloutierville and that's what really counts in a place like this that's free and where every neighbor counts.   I don't want to watch the angry people when I think of our country today cause  when I do I can't stop thinkin' bout the tears on Lincoln's face."

Monday, November 1, 2010

Cloutierville gets early count results that might predict the future

 Cloutierville gets early count results that might predict the future. It's two days before the election, and everyone in Cloutierville is awaiting the results, because this town gets the numbers before election day around here, unlike everywheres else.
Carter house in Cloutierville
 Elmer and me we sit here in Cloutierville, thinkin', like the rest of the country, what in tar nation is goin' on in our government, and we wonder about the count from last night that will help decide our future.

Last night the mix of children, all of different hues, walking arm in arm with Halloween pumpkins and wearing their costumes,  going up on family porches as far as the eye could see was a special blessing, we celebrate each year.

"Granny, did you get your numbers in? Now count 'em careful in there cause we gotta make sure things turn out right in the future."  Miss Sue next door she always worries cause she hears on t.v. about those places where people stick holes in cards every which way and then can't figure out what they did and get everybody mad. 

But I says, "Now Miss Sue, you know we take each and every count around here special, cause each one makes a difference.  You know that.  Just get yours in, if you haven't yet, since it really is important."

"Mine was in real early this mornin cause we get the early numbers in from the folks just before the bridge to the center of town before anywheres else.  It's those others from where the old Carnahan store was to the end of the street before the cemetery that straggles in.

Billy down the street was running the numbers, back and forth at every house, as he saw people scrambling up and down those steps doing their civic duty.  And then we hear him yelp, like he was real excited.

I been watching this many, many years, and no matter how many times it happens the results don't change that much.  But once in awhile there's a big surprise, and because there's new people this time around, the numbers might change just a tad.

"Oh, Billy, what you excited about?  You got the count already, and we don't have to wait a second more?"  Everyone was counted and we don't have to wait any more.   Cloutierville is always prepared for the country's  important times. 

At the end of the street at the Carter house, where a bunch of them come in near last.  they counted five first thing this morning, the number of pieces of candy left we need to know so we don't run out of treats on Halloween next year.   We start with how many pieces each person had to give out, then get the number we have left, figure how many bags of candy we need next time, how many pieces are in each bag and then how many each house should get for next year.


Now if those folks runnin' the numbers all over the country can get their numbers right on election night, like we get the candy count after Halloween in Cloutierville, the country can be all happy, but Granny thinks some of those fellers fool with what they got most times and can't plan like we do so things turn out fair and square, making people wonder if they can ever do as well as we do here with candy.