Thursday, October 28, 2010

Putin tells Granny how to get to Sarah Palin's house for a Tea Party in Alaska

Владимир, это - запрос Бабули, я знаю, что Вы заняты с тем вулканом прямо сейчас, но я нуждаюсь в вашей помощи.  Oh, you speak English?  Well, I need directions to Sarah Palin's house, Vladimir, cause I figure if she can see Russia from her house, you can see hers from yours, cause I need directions from Cloutierville to a Tea Party in Alaska.
Vladimir Putin, Prime Minister of Russia

Putin, you Prime Minister, that's sounds so fine, Vladimir, Granny's so glad you and me can talk without worrying about the government listenin' in.  You say they still are?  Well, this won't take long, and I'll whisper.  And I'm so proud of you thinkin' about those people in the country.

You see I been invited to this Tea Party at Sarah Palin's house.  You know the one all of you folks thought was real cute when she was Governor of Alaska.  I lost the invitation, and my granddaughter needs directions, so I figure you can give them to me since you probably got a close-up shot.  Yes, thanks.  Sure, I'll tell him you said hi the next time I talk to Barack.  No, that's not Boris, it's Barack.  Yes, it's like some of us name our babies here when they gets that birth certificate when they's born.   Now, I'll let you go and you be sure to keep your eye on Becky when she gets to Alaska."

Nice feller, to get me those directions.  I told Becky when she goes to the Tea Party from Cloutierville,  she has to have a protest sign with her, so she bought this pretty suit like Sarah's and wrote on the sign, "Better red than dead," and someone told her no, that's "Better dead than red," meaning we don't want to be commies, but I told her to leave it alone because Vladimir can see her all dolled up in that pretty red suit and besides the sign makes more sense the way she had it in the first place.  That way nobody could say to her they'd rather be dead than looking like that.

Becky's so excited about the Tea Party invite, since it's getting hard for Granny to travel all the way to Alaska when it starts gettin' chilly.  I told her to stand right in front of Sarah Palin's window and wave right back when she sees her cousin Vladimir so I knows she's safe and where her friends can all see she knows as much about foreign affairs as anybody at the party.

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