Sunday, October 3, 2010

Granny tells Myrtle: the recession is over

Myrtle says Bud lost his job at Walmart last year, and they don't have money to come visit.  I said, "Myrtle, the recession is over, so don't tell me Bud doesn't have a job."

I just don't understand that woman.  I told her a week ago  the recession was over, but she keeps calling and calling me and whining about Bud's job.  I told her that was last year, so I says to her, "Just stop your sniveling.  He's probably back at work already and just isn't telling you yet."  She said, " He tells me he's gone fishing," but then I said, "Yeh, he's fishing for something since he's got the money and just doesn't want to spend it on you.  Because everyone knows the recession stopped a long time ago." 

I get real worried about Myrtle sometimes when the government says something real important like telling us the recession is over.  Just like that.  The President said the recession is over, and the t.v. says the same thing.  Everybody's talking about it in Washington, and they all look really happy.

"Look Myrtle.  Read the paper.  Watch t.v.  Everybody's saying it.  You can come visit anytime you want, because you'll have all the money you need.  You just keep your eyes on that billfold of Bud's, because there's money going to show up.

"Well, Bud hasn't been working for nearly two years,." Myrtle tells me.  But I reminded her the President said it was last June the recession was over."  Some big Washington economists said so, and all of those folks can't be wrong.  So what does Myrtle have to complain about anyway, unless she's like all those other people complaining because they just want attention.

Elmer and me here in Cloutierville we think Bud's got a bundle of money by now, unless he's been out playing the slots at the bar with some gal behind Myrtle's back.  With the recession over, Bud's got it easy these days.

I guess Myrtle doesn't hear well or something because this morning I had to yell into the phone.  "Myrtle, the recession stopped last year.  Well, maybe it's just slower getting to you because they are saying it's happened in Washington, but maybe what happens in Washington stays in Washington like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.  You just have to sneak or look real close to find out.  Or maybe that recession stopping hasn't got to Tennessee yet since it's a long way from Washington to where the real folks live.

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