"Dear Liu Yan,
I got Bessie, M'Lynn, Thomas, Myrtle and her husband Bud, old Joe over on the other side of the tracks who's a widower, my son Beaut, Marty, Theodore, Terrel, Billy, Sylvester, Gordie, Annie, Chris, Jasper, Henrietta, Hattie, Olive, Philbert and a bunch of other kids and their families and all my grandchildren and lots of friends who could use all that money, cause Lord knows I got enough. So why don't you just come down here, and we'll figure things out like you said.
I got a phone, but it's a party line, and everyone in these parts around Cloutierville likes to find out everybody's business, so no sense giving you that. Just get on down here and introduce yourself right proper."
Well, I'll be darned, but when I was talking to my friend Myrtle later, she tells me she got the same letter from Liu Yan. So I thought that Liu Yan must have lots of money if she's sending that letter to everybody in the whole world, but I checked with M'Lynn, my 22-year-old grandchild at the bank, and she didn't get one, so I figure maybe only old folks are getting that letter and maybe we all better check.
So I told Myrtle she should write and get Liu Yan to visit in Tennessee, and then Olive and Bert could do the same thing in Florida, and Mabel and Philbert in Kentucky and all those other old folks around the world, cause there are bunches of them scattered all over the place and more and more of them all the time. There's a lot of money that Liu Yan says she has, like she wrote, that talks about each and every person, and we could help the President and those other government people pay off all those big bills and have money left over.
Then a couple days later, Myrtle she told me she'd been talking to folks in Tennessee and found out all the old people there got a letter and sent Liu Yan an invite like we planned, and we just heard from Mabel and Philbert and the post office in Cloutierville said they just had lots and lots of cards going out for Liu Yan. And everybody decided since she might get lost just to tell her to meet at the Burger King in the nearest town because we didn't want to give her our addresses on our letters or nothing and just have her wandering around.
But you know, none of us ever heard back from that Liu Yan, and that's okay because we found out that there were lots of people like her and my nephew whose a policeman told us what to do if it happens again, and folks like Liu Yan were trying to trick old people into giving them money and wanting to pull the wool over some granny's eyes, and we hope someone put that child in the woodshed where she belongs and that she's bawling her eyes out for lying and cheating like that.
|woodshed - wikimedia commons|