Monday, October 11, 2010

Call waiting makes granny just plain tired

"Hello?  This is granny talking.  I've been on the phone for half an hour here in Cloutierville, and no one's talking to me, and I keep getting some message to push all these numbers, and I'm getting just plain tired.
Telephone operator - wikimedia commons
 "You folks sent me a card in the mail that said I was approved, and I went down to get a bathrobe at Walmart and they said that card weren't no good."  Now why would you fellers send it to me if you ain't gonna let me use it?"I just kept talking but no one said anything but gave me a bunch of numbers, then made me wait and wait and then gave me the numbers again, as if I can't count or anything.

It was the darndest thing.   Somebody on that phone kept telling me their system changed, and I should just push 1 for this, and 2 for that, and 3 for something else, and who knows what all,  until I got all confused because they kept saying it over and over, and I couldn't ever talk to a real person  so I just hung up.  I called back, and you know what happened?  The same blessed thing.

So I says to myself, well I'll bet they'll talk to someone by gory pat, so I decided to call somebody important I figure who can do something about all this, and I talk to the mayor and I tell him what happened.  And he says, "Granny, everything's like that these days.  You just have to learn how to use the new technology."

"You mean I can't ever talk to anyone on that fool contraption again and just have all these folks saying the same things over and over, counting up those numbers and never letting me interrupt them from doing that so I never get my answer for anything?"

The mayor he laughs and tells me that all the phones are like that, and he gets tired of it too.  And I wonder why he puts up with it him being important and all-- but I figured if he can't do anything about it, maybe the rest of us could.

So I have this plan, but I'm gonna need the rest of you folks to help.  I'm down here in the poke salad patch, and we got a party line.  If all you folks get on your party lines all at the same time and asked the operator to call those people and made a big fuss and started yelling real loud, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it  no more," than maybe this darn foolishness will stop and someone will listen and answer some questions.

All this business going on when Granny's got washing and ironing and cooking to do, that phone is getting in the way of getting anything done so I think I'll just yell down the road for the time being like I used to and folks around here, well they pay attention when you're talking.  They'll yell back, like they always do and say, "Hey Granny we hear you, now why don't you make some of your cupcakes?"

Well my neighbors will get some of those cupcakes, but that phone company is only going to get a piece of my mind if I ever get to one of theirs, since they can't think to stop repeating themselves.

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